Sex and the City makes me hate women

I am watching Sex and the City for the first time and blogging my impressions as I watch. You can read the first part (s01E01-S01E04) here.

S01E05

I’m sick and tired of these supposedly cool and chic events, they all look like a drag and all the girls do is wait. Wait to be served, wait to get it, wait to find a man. Can’t they just go to the bar and talk about anal sex?

Is there going to be shoe shopping in every episode?

carrie bradshaw ugly outfit

I have a feather boa like that that I bought for fancy dress when I was 8.

For someone who makes a living as a writer, Carrie appears to read remarkably little.

So all the Italian Carrie ever needs to know is “Dolce, Dolce, Dolce.” This kind of superficiality and lack of interest in anything infuriates me.

Oh my god, I hate every secondary character that appears in the show. Did they have to fill the show with dicks in order to make the girls remotely likeable?

I would never ever eat somewhere where the waiters have to wear golden shirts.

And just in case you forgot about the beautiful/dumb vs ugly/clever dichotomy:

I think you’re too beautiful to be a writer.”

Well, I’ve never woken up after sex to find a thousand dollars on my bedside table. I’d better have a word with the boy. So that’s it, Carrie talking about her “hooker money” instead of asking her annoying friend or the hotel for the guy’s number so that she can, you know, clarify that she’s not a whore.

Of course Charlotte hates the C-word! First LOL-worthy moment.

beautiful cunt sex and the city charlotte

 

 

s01e06

I give a big NO to the naked dress. I find the whole conversation about sleeping with someone on the first date as old as the one about kissing on the first date. If you wanna do it, go for it! If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it! Those stupid rules remind me of when my best friend and I watched American Pie for the first time as teenagers and then elaborated a long, elaborate list of the different bases and argued about the order in which they’d go (base 10 was doing it all again with someone of the same sex as you). That said, if you claim you don’t want to have sex on the first date with someone, why on earth would you wear that ridiculous naked dress?

carrie bradshaw the naked dress

She basically has sex coming out of her crotch.

While we’re on the subject of fashion, who told Carrie pigtails in grown women are a good look?

carrie sex and the city wearing pigtails

And then, come on, what columnist has massive ads on buses featuring pictures of themselves posing sexily? AS IF!

carrie bradshaw penis

But of course this was going to happen!

 

S01E07

Finally a realistic conversation that I can imagine having with my friends. It’s only taken, what, four episodes of bullshit?

miranda i only give head to get head

+1 point to Miranda.

Interesting that Skipper would be the bastard to do this:

you're breaking up with me while you're still inside of me?

 

Why doesn’t Carrie even say anything to Mr. Big about the fact that he seems to be dating every other woman in NY? Does she have no self respect? If they’re hanging out to the point that her friends complain about not seeing her, shouldn’t she have had the talk about seeing other people? I’m very confused.

What are your plans for the future?

Well, I plan on getting a lot of blowjobs in the future.”

It’s so obvious that this guy is getting his balls licked by his dog…

S01E08

One thing is looking at somebody’s ex on facebook, I’m sure we’ve all been there, but pitching her a book and becoming intimate in order to find out stuff about their relationship is a bit extreme, amiright? Why the hell is Miranda asking her therapist if he’d have a threesome with her? We’re seeing all kinds of female insecurity in this episode and they all come from external sources, from what others are like or what others might think about them. Am I a prude? Am I a bitch? Am I not sexy enough? Is she better? Is she hotter? Is she sexier? Will he leave me if I don’t fulfil his fantasy? It makes me sick.

sex and the city x files fans

These two are my favourite thing from the series so far.

 

s01e09

Oh my god, this one’s about weddings. Let’s take a moment to remember the time when I flew from Munich to attend my cousin’s wedding and I was sat in a corner surrounded by children or adults I had little to talk about with. If I ever have a wedding those two are getting a children’s menu.

 

I hope these two end up having sloppy drunken sex.

I hope these two end up having sloppy drunken sex.

Ugh. This whole I wanna get married but he doesn’t, I don’t know if I want to get married but I don’t like that he doesn’t want to, he really wants to get married but I don’t, etc. is totally exhausting, especially when it’s coming from people who are at the beginning of a relationship. Let it be and if you really are in love and have been for years and years then bloody talk about it and reach an agreement. People do things they don’t really want to or give up things they really wanted for love. You can’t think about marriage when you should be focusing on building a strong relationship!

The ultimate friendship test? Sorry but my feet are not touching yours NO WAY.

The ultimate friendship test? Sorry but my feet are not touching yours NO WAY.

 

S01E10

I am glad baby showers aren’t a thing in Spain, but what’s with all the woman hate? It shocks me that they can be so sexually open sometimes and then so judgemental the next second. Are all women here Mean Girls? And they seem to be jealous of this woman too, do they all secretly want to marry, have babies and move to Connecticut?

I suppose these are the early 90s?

I suppose these are the early 90s?

carrie bradshaw missed period

Very believable.

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sex and the city gif i can eat anything

Erm…no, because we can all eat anything we want.

OH MY GOD I FEEL SICK. How can a woman delight in how fat a pregnant woman must be? You know it’s not actual fat and there is a baby in there, right?  And again that stereotype of mothers losing their own identity with Miranda saying she “lost two sisters to motherhood.” I’m gonna end up sounding like a married housewife with a dozen kids, but as a woman I feel disgusted, and while I’ve seen a fair amount of gossip and shit talking, nothing tops this.

So I am equally disgusted by Charlotte’s hysteric admiration of everything that looks like the suburban bliss every woman should aspire to. IS THERE GOING TO BE NO CHARACTER I LIKE IN THIS SHOW? Right when I think “oh yeah, I can relate to that” they proceed to do or say something completely idiotic. They all embody supposedly feminine traits that I despise.

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Of course the wild singles are all wearing black and the married women are wearing pink and yellow. So. Much. Yellow.

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I no longer feel sorry for this woman. This is everything I hate about “womanhood.” Are you jealous because I’m thin? Are you jealous because I’m fat? Are you jealous because I’m single? Are you jealous because I’m married? Stop with the jealousy, already!

sex and the city gif you gotta get serious

And you gotta look like Shirley Temple on LSD too.

Of course the single women identify with the witch in Hansel and Gretel, because all childless women are witches.

I think this series might be the end of my relationship. My boyfriend is giving me pretty bad looks right now “five minutes of this series is enough to make me so angry, really.” At least we share outlooks, breakup averted.

OH MY GOD. YOU USED MY SECRET BABY NAME!! This makes me feel like once when I was in preschool and a classmate said I was copying her when I coloured a girl’s dress pink because pink was HER favourite colour. I was like, “sorry dude, I didn’t know you owned the colour.” Charlotte, you don’t even have a boyfriend so why the fuck do you have a secret baby name that you have already decided on? And why the fuck do you get so upset about it? And why don’t any of her friends tell her that’s unreasonable? Excuse the swearing, but this makes me so violent. I understand this when for example you’re named after your mother and grandmother and you want your future babies to follow the tradition, but even then, why can’t another woman’s baby have the same name as yours? I need a break.

THE HOUSE OF HUMILIATION? Why? Because you lead a different lifestyle? Are we all humiliated by those women who have managed to get closer to the definition of adulthood that we know? This is bullshit.

Charlotte has a wishbox? HOW OLD IS THIS WOMAN? And she has presents for her unborn baby? I hope she gets pregnant and has a boy who grows up resenting his mother for wanting a baby girl.

The saddest thing I've ever seen on TV.

The saddest thing I’ve ever seen on TV.

“If you are [pregnant] you are” I like how nobody even makes an allusion to abortion.

Of course the pregnant woman will make a fool of herself, because Carrie and the gang are the coolest and we all need to know that. Yawn.

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Why are Carrie’s nipples hard all the time?

 

I am watching Sex and the City for the first time and blogging my impressions as I watch. You can read the first part (s01E01-S01E04) here.   

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