Tag Archives | TV

The one in which I watch Sex and the City

Hello, my name is Andrea and I’ve never watched Sex and the City. Well, I lie, I have occasionally sort of half watched some episodes while doing something else, but I don’t think I’ve ever watched a complete one. I just never saw the appeal, maybe because I don’t buy that the main character can live like that writing a column, maybe because I think they all look terribly stupid or maybe because, well, I was not a thirtysomething woman and the only shoes I care about are vans. Some years ago my girly friends often talked about which one of the characters they resembled the most and I was left there sitting in my own world thinking that the fictional character I resembled the most was Rob Gordon from High Fidelity. Thankfully nobody else in my circle cared about this show except for my dad, who bizarrely seems to like it, so I was spared these conversations and never felt forced to watch it… until now. The thing is, with them being unmarried and childless, somebody could ask why this show doesn’t fall into my thesis topic, and although I know that it doesn’t–or at least I hope so–I can’t argue my way out of that without watching it.

S01 E01

This hasn’t even started and I feel like I’m watching a series about Gala Darling.

I don’t think white tutus should be worn unless you’re, you know, on stage dancing ballet. Right now I’m imagining grown women googling “Carrie Bradshaw tutu diy” and something is dying inside me.

sex and the city screen cap season 1

Rain reflecting the emotional turnmoil of a two week relationship.

Wait a minute, is this supposed to be set in the 80s?

sex and the city looks like the 80s

Just when I was starting to wonder if the main characters have any male friends one came up…but he’s gay.

Shit, I’m not the only one who says “it’s research” after every stupidly immature thing they do. I hope nobody thinks I’m copying Carrie.

Oh right, the gay friend and the nerd friend. I see.

OH MAN I ALWAYS THOUGHT MR BIG WAS MR BIG BECAUSE OF HIS MASSIVE PENIS! What a disappointment.

does mr big have a big penis

The most important thing I’ve googled all day

I don’t get it, what’s with the sex noises when they’re only kissing? Who makes that kind of noise when they kiss?

Now that I know it was created by Darren Star I’m scared I will like it. Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place are two of my guilty pleasures.

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Beverly Hills 90210: Season 2

I stated my never-ending love for Beverly Hills 90210 (the original) when I wrote about the first season. And although I’m sure incredulous minds would never think I was serious when I said I’m going to watch it all again, I am in fact dead serious. And I am loving it all over again.

 

This season saw David Silver becoming one of the cool kids, something that clearly could only ever happen if his former best friend Scott accidentally killed himself on his birthday. The moral of the story is:
If you have uncool friends, murder them.
Then you’ll be one of the cool kids.
As a result, the second half of the season sees the beginning of his relationship with Donna Martin. I like this couple because they’re stupid, childish and hilarious. They’re the only people on the show who don’t constantly come up with pseudo-moralistic crap that I don’t need to hear. I like that Donna seems to be claiming a personality of her own other than Kelly’s shadow, because Kelly bores me to death. The only interesting thing that happens to her all season is that she nearly gets raped.

Talk about pattern clashing.

 

Speaking about sex, why is it that tacky effects are used every time Kelly Taylor talks about virginity? Can anybody answer this question?

 

Next on my hate list. Actually, first on the hate list are still Brandon and Brenda’s parents. Thankfully they seem to feature less prominently this season, which leaves some space for the glamorous, cheating, divorced, pregnant and famous Beverly Hills parents. Who wears a tie with a pumpkin on it for Halloween? And why do they keep on trying to make Brenda and Dylan break up? Having a recovering alcoholic surfer as a boyfriend is the only thing that makes Brenda Walsh remotely interesting.

Some sexy outfits right there.
Oh Dylan, you look so upset all the time.
Dylan McKaye is a dangerous dude. This is probably because Luke Perry was actually a million years old when this show was being filmed and all his real life experience is reflected on his acting. Probably. He is so dangerous that the only costume he agrees to wear for Halloween is one of a criminal, that’s how dangerous he is.

“I’m talking from a swimming pool, this is like totally revolutionary”
But the most dangerous of all has to be Emily Valentine. I mean, she writes anonymous letters and lies all the time! She tries to set fire to things! She is mysterious! She knows all about clandestine nightclubs! She takes drugs! I remember hating Emily Valentine the first time I watched this show when I was a kid. I’m not surprised I did, it’s like they tried to make her as unattractive as possible to subtly indicate that she is no good. This can be observed clearly comparing the before and after of the state of her hair colour. I warn you, there is a very elaborate theory here.
Before going to a psychiatric hospital her blonde hair has grown enough to show dark roots, clearly a metaphor for the darkness of her mind. Because, you know, brunettes are evil, and girls who don’t take proper care of their hair are even more evil.
 
Once she is at the psychiatric hospital, her roots are no longer there and her hair is perfectly dyed. Blondes have  more fun and no mental problems, so she must be getting better.

Other highlights of the season:
– Dylan and Brenda’s trip to Mexico. What a pair of rebels.
– The drama teacher falling for Andrea. Very believable.
– Donna dressed as a mermaid.
– Brenda almost getting shot.
– The bridesmaid dresses at Jackie and Mel’s wedding. Loved them at the age of 8, still love them now.

Who’s your favourite 90210 character?
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Beverly Hills 90210: Season 1

When I was 8 years old Beverly Hills 90210 was my favourite thing on TV. I liked it better than cartoons and I watched it more often than I watched Disney films. No wonder I am now a pseudo-grown up wanting to write a thesis about teenage films. 18 years later, I have decided to finally revisit the series from beginning to end.
I have to admit that I don’t remember watching the end of 90210, but I remember watching the beginning about a million times on an VHS tape. What I didn’t remember was how dramatic it is. Seriously, on the first season they cover sex, unwanted pregnancies,  cancer, date rape, teenage mothers, alcoholism, aids, adoption, divorce and probably other “deep” topics that I’m forgetting. So what was in it that could be so appealing to a young and impressionable child? I’m still trying to figure it out. Probably clothes.
This is my favourite 90210 moment ever.
I had this episode on video and I loved it so much that my cousin and me recorded the song onto a tape and learnt the dance to perform in front of the family. It left such a deep mark on our young selves that we did it again at her wedding last month.

This is probably the reason why I’ve never even attempted to go blonde.

During the first episodes I struggled to remember why Donna was my favourite. I quite liked Brenda too because she had dark hair like me, but Donna? Why? A few days later I found the answer:
  • She is practically retarded, which makes her more child-like.
  • She is the only one who doesn’t talk about sex.
  • She wears ridiculous clothes that make her seem like the human version of a Barbie doll.
  • She also wears some adorable stuff.
Here’s Donna’s version of Topshop’s sailor coat.
Isn’t their dress nice? I love it even now! I remembered this episode vividly because it’s the one where Dylan and Brenda do it. What I didn’t remember about it was this amazing scene where Andrea daydream’s she’s murdering Kelly for going to prom with Brandon.
Andrea Zackerman, probably the reason why I didn’t like my name as a kid. Kelly makes fun of her because it sounds “exotic” and “pretentious”. I hated that as much as I hated the fact that she’s officially “the ugly girl” who behaves like a mother. Her best moment is clearly when she offers to have sex with Brandon saying she is her present while riding a carousel. I laughed so hard I had to watch it a few times. Amazing.
The next people on my hate list are Brandon and Brenda’s parents. I don’t remember having any feelings towards them as a kid, but they annoy me so much that I sometimes think I am a 16 year old when I watch the show. I especially hate the father with his stupid little keyboard. I mean, look at this picture.
One of my favourite things about this show now are the stupid outfits. When I was a kid, watching this made me want to be a fashion designer, and all I did all day was listening to the Grease soundtrack while drawing stupid dresses with black and white triangle prints that nobody would ever wear. I would also wear red and white polka dot shorts with flowery leggings, just like Kelly Taylor does on the first episode. And a denim waistcoat. And I had a shirt that I called my “Kelly Taylor shirt”. Anyway, here are some reasons to be glad the early nineties are long gone:

Thankfully I never attempted to rock the white sock trend. What I’m sure I would have wanted, had I been observant enough to notice it, is this amazing poster art:

I never knew Matthew Perry was in 90210.
Wuthering Heights! Who would’ve thought 90210 is actually high culture.
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